Didn’t expect it to be so turbulent,
All the money, time, and energy I spent,
For nothing . . .
Wasn’t ready for the world the way it is,
The way it was,
Was like prison for a while,
Poison my smile,
And to have it brought back again?
To smile for real?
To feel,
Something again . . .
Oh god, it felt great,
And then to watch it burn,
Watch it crumble so quick,
Again,
Now just a Facebook friend.
Like all of them,
Not good enough,
Good enough,
For me I think.
I think,
I’m not good enough,
For anyone,
So much blood on my hands,
And I fake it like I’m a hero,
A hero for your freedom,
That tortures me still,
Why we crave all of them pills,
But any way I’m supposed to move on.
Lose my number,
Be gone.
Thank you,
I’m grateful,
For the way you ignore me,
More time for me to be happy.
Exactly,
Lost in this cyberspace,
Messaging mayhem,
Why don’t they just call?
Come over I’m sober,
Well not for long
I’m gone,
So wasted again wondering what the fuck happened,
Where did I go wrong?
I don’t get it,
I love all of them,
But I’m still cooking alone,
Why can’t I just have all of them stay at my home?
Did I screw up?
Screw up again?
I bet I did.
Ah well.
I do it for the kids.
SABOTAGE
My dates.
I did it again.
My fucking life of sin.